2016 Presidential Campaign Merch:
15 Ridiculous Finds

Looking for that special something for your loved one or frenemy this holiday season? Give the gift of freedom with this selection of political wares only befitting of a presidential hopeful. But seriously, forget statesmanship. This election is all about getting down with the cool kids. E.G. Hillary Clinton selling a t-shirt that has “yaaas” branded across it.

Below are some of the best/worst items for sale from some of the 2016 presidential candidates.* Multiple Ugly Christmas Sweaters included.

*Note: Not all the candidates had merch for sale (Chris Christie) and the others didn’t have anything off-kilter. And no, I didn’t include you-know-who on purpose. He gets enough attention.


JEB BUSH!

Guaca Bowle
Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday. Now, you can get in on the act with this “Guaca Bowle.” Jeb’s secret guacamole recipe not included…yet.” Get your Sunday Funday kicks with the Guaca Bowle.

Jeb Bush Guaca Bowle

Jeb Bush Guaca Bowle

Vintage Tank
“He may be a clean-cut grandfather now, but back in the 70’s, Jeb had a sideburn-mustache combo that would make Burt Reynolds blush. Wear this tank on South Beach to make sure he doesn’t forget it.” Hey hipsters, Jeb was young and hip once too! Never forget.

Tank-Top
“My Dad” T
“Jeb sums up his love for his dad in one powerful quote. Let’s hope you don’t want to step outside.” I don’t understand this shirt. I don’t think the guy modeling it does either. What does this have to do with politics?

DadShirt_Model


BEN CARSON

Ben Carson Christmas Sweatshirt
Could this guy’s smile be any more blinding? It’s as if he’s saying: YOU GET AN UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER! YOU GET AN UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER! WE ALL GET UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS!

Ben Carson Ugly Christmas Sweater

Ben Carson Ugly Christmas Sweater

“I Got A Fever” T-Shirt
“America’s got a fever and there’s only one cure… More Carson. We’ve got your prescription for cool with this vibrant blue tee. Wear it to the coffee shop or out on the town. Compliments guaranteed!” So many compliments.

Ben Carson I Got A Fever Tee

Ben Carson I Got A Fever Tee


HILLARY CLINTON

Hillary for the Holidays Sweatshirt
H is for holidays! Spend them wrapped in the cozy throws of progress.

hillary-ugly-sweater

Hillary Clinton Ugly Christmas Sweater

Stitch By Stitch Throw Pillow
“The perfect touch for any home, whether it’s 1600 Pennsylvania Ave or simply Pennsylvania.” All the women who independent, throw your pillows up at me.

Hillary Clinton Throw Pillow

Hillary Clinton Throw Pillow


TED CRUZ

Cruz Limited Edition Christmas Sweater
“Don’t tread on me” or my Christmas spirit!

Ted Cruz Ugly Christmas Sweater

Ted Cruz Ugly Christmas Sweater

Right Turns Only Bumper Sticker
Hit ’em where it hurts with a “right turns only” bumper sticker. Then explain to everyone why you’re always late.

Ted Cruz Bumper Sticker

Ted Cruz Bumper Sticker


RAND PAUL

Rand Paul has some of the most interesting gear of all the presidential candidates. Including a signed eye exam, baseball and a zombie clown gun target. Plus a whole page dedicated to anti-Hillary merch. Here’s just a couple of items from his impressive selection:

Rand Paul Holiday Jingle Socks
“Jingle your way across the floor in these cheery Rand socks.” They’ll keep your toes “all snuggly and warm” during those bitter cold political debates.

Rand Paul Holiday Jingle Socks

Rand Paul Holiday Jingle Socks

Unleash The Dream Tee
“No one wants their government keeping them on a leash. It’s time to Defeat the Washington Machine and Unleash the American Dream. Take the Rand Paul message with you in a more subtle way. The dogtag has the Rand logo with the campaign theme below…and every good American likes a dog!” Unleash…get it?!

Rand Paul Unleash the Dream Tee

Rand Paul Unleash the Dream Tee


MARCO RUBIO

Who knew Rubio was so punny? Espresso yourself with this drink-ware. If you really want to take things to the next level, you can always ‘buy Marco a plane ticket,’ so he can make it to his next political rally. You’ll get a Tweet of gratitude and postcard and everything!

Freedom of Espresso Mug
The perfect mug for the land of the free and the home of the caffeinated.

Marco Rubio Bistro Mug

Marco Rubio Bistro Mug

Water Great Nation Water Bottle
Quench your thirst with the refreshing, crisp taste of freedom.

Marco Rubio Water Great Nation Bottled Water

Marco Rubio Water Great Nation Bottled Water


BERNIE SANDERS

Turns out Bernie’s a bit punny himself. Let everyone know you’re feelin’ the bern with this swag.

“Contents May Bern” Coffee Mug
Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Bernie Sanders Mug

Bernie Sanders Mug

Tote Bag: I’m Totes Votin’ for Bernie
Totes mcgoats.

Bernie Sanders Tote

Bernie Sanders Tote


There you have it. A selection of some of the 2016 presidential candidates most memorable merch, to make your holidays just a little more memorable. Make your selections with care.

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